Former teen mom uses her story to educate and inspire

Nicole Kirby speaks to young people about postponing parenthood

Nicole Kirby is using her experience as a teen mother to influence the thoughts of others around the world. Her goal is to reach as many people as possible, and make teenagers think twice about becoming a teen parent.

Nicole is from upstate New York and became a statistic at age 15—she gave birth to a healthy eight-pound, one-ounce girl and named her Elizebeth. Before she became pregnant, she considered herself to be a normal teenager. Suddenly her childhood was relinquished to grownup issues like custody battles, visitation rights and child support. She has had to endure the social stigma of being a teenage mother.

When Nicole first found out she was pregnant, one of her biggest challenges was breaking the news to her parents. “I wrote them a letter,” she said. “They both told me that they weren’t mad, just disappointed. My parents are happy that I kept my daughter; however, they feel stressed at times, because I am stressed.”

Nicole’s parents and grandparents have supported her and have helped her take care of her daughter and still pursue her dreams.

“My pregnancy affected my whole family,” Nicole says. “Why I say this is because I was 15 years old and I thought I knew everything. Plus, I thought my daughter’s father and I would make it through everything. I guess I didn’t listen too well at the time to my parents. Though, what teenager does listen [to their parents] at 15 years old?”

Nicole has struggled as a teenage mother. “Going to school is tough, especially as my daughter gets older,” she says. “I have been in [high] school one year with a pregnancy, and three years after having my daughter. It’s tough going to school after a long, long night of being up, whether it is a nightmare or a bedwetting. I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to fall asleep in class. There are times everyday when I feel tired, like I can’t go on. Especially when she was a newborn, and I felt like she was awake every minute of every day.”

“Also, going to court—it’s so indescribable. I feel hopeless at times, like I am going to lose my daughter—I just love her so much. It’s like there is nothing I can do, but fight and fight more,” she says. “I am one of the very-very-very lucky teenagers in society, to have my family’s support with everything. Without them all, I am not able to fight for my daughter in the court system.”

Another phenomenon Nicole encountered was that her friends all disappeared. They have graduated and have moved on; some to a different state, some to college, but many have jobs around the New York area.

“I learned through my pregnancy that my friends weren’t ready to become parents themselves,” says Nicole. “Their parents didn’t want them around me because they thought they would follow in my steps. Overall, I really miss my friends. I wish sometimes that I had gotten to go to the prom and to parties, but I love my daughter and I know she needed me more.”

Nicole has graduated high school and has just started college. “My first day ended up being a wonderful experience that I will never forget,” she says. “I have set a few goals for myself, which include getting help when needed (a tutor), making sure all my homework is done no matter how long I have to stay awake after my daughter falls asleep, and being open to meeting new people.”

She is planning on studying in the fields of Medical Office Technology and Paralegal. “I am going to prove to myself that I can be a mom and still go to school, get good grades and even graduate from college.”

 “Though it’s tough being a young parent, my daughter also brings so much happiness into my life,” she says. “I’m proud to call her my daughter, and proud to be known as her mother.”

Nicole Kirby on Tour

Besides going to school and caring for her four-year-old daughter, Nicole spends her time speaking about teen pregnancy prevention. She is a guest at schools and other youth organizations, does mall presentations, and responds to comments posted to her inspirational web site (http://teen-mom.tripod.com).  “I believe they want me to speak so they can hear what it truly is like being a teen parent, instead of hearing it from a teacher,” Nicole says. “They say it’s more real to hear it from me.”

Nicole’s story has already been published in Next Step Magazine and the award-winning web site, Sex, Etc. She is also currently working on getting her story in Seventeen and Cosmo Girl magazines. She has plans to write her own book sharing her life story and experiences.

“I have a passion for helping people,” she says. “I also have a strong passion for teen pregnancy prevention since I have become one of the statistics. I never had anyone tell me what it’s like to be a teen parent.”

Realityworks applauds Nicole’s efforts and has provided her with a RealCare® Baby for her presentations. She believes Baby will make it easier to really get in touch with people.

“Although I love my daughter very much, I wish I had the chance to take [Baby] home, and then I might not be in the situation I am in,” she says. “I want more people to learn more about Realityworks and what the program is all about, including what we can do to change things, and to have more [RealCare® Babies] handed out to more students.”

Bring Nicole to your program!

Nicole is open to speaking to your group, particularly if you are in the New York area, but she’ll consider traveling farther. Contact Nicole on her web site or via email at sparkles6930@mail.com.

Can you give us 10?

Ten answers in less than five minutes, that is.

Please take a few moments to take a survey about your RealCare® Program. Your responses will help us make important decisions about RealCare products and program materials. Thanks to all who responded to last month’s survey. The response was terrific and your input is very valuable to us. This month features a new set of questions. Thanks in advance for your time.

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In addition to the one-on-one help, we share their product support tips every month right here by the clover (because we’re lucky to have such great product support technicians, of course).

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Product Support Tip o’ the Month

A refresher course

It is that time of year again, when you’re finally getting to the bottom of those piles on your desk that you have let accumulate while you were off enjoying those beautiful, summer Friday afternoons. If you’re getting your groove back after a break we can help you get your Babies ready for simulations.

Here’s a recap of some helpful tips you may have missed if you’ve drifted away from the Star these past few months (we can’t believe you’d do that!)

What the red, green and yellow lights mean on the RealCare Baby II-plus: January Star

When to use the control unit if Baby is programmed with the Control Center software: February Star

What to do when Baby does not respond to the IDs: March Star

When and how to use quiet times: April Star

What to do when minor details are forgotten when programming Baby: May Star

How to store Babies when they are not in use: June Star

What to do when the control unit says to replace the batteries on a RealCare Baby II-plus: August Star

What to do when Baby gets dirty: September Star

If your question, comment or concern does not appear in the links above, please call 800.830.1416 or +1.715.830.2040 to speak with one of our friendly, knowledgeable Product Support staff.

Look for another stress-busting, life-simplifying, soul-cleansing product support tip next month. You may contact Product Support at 800.830.1416 or +1.715.830.2040.

More good stuff from
us to you . . .

*Star Trivia Question

What popular sport starts every event with these famous words? “Gentlemen, start your engines."

Special bonus to the first 10 readers to reply with the correct title for this obscure cultural reference. Email your response to newsletter@realityworks.com and include your name, organization and address information so we can send you a delightful prize.

Words
from a student participant . . .

We love to hear from our customers. And once in a while we get messages from students telling us about their experience with Baby. They are the reason we do what we do – thanks for helping us reach young people every day around the world.

Dear Realityworks,

Wow! Last week I took home the Realityworks Baby for my project for child development class. I was so excited that I was bringing home the baby, and I even got to name it ( I named it Lacey). I love little kids and babies and I thought it was so cute.

Then it was time for Girl Scouts. I took it there and it was so quiet I couldn't even believe how good it was. Toward the end it started to cry, but I had it under control. Once it was bedtime though, I was tired, and the baby wasn't. It woke me up six times in the middle of the night!!! I woke up and I was so tired! I am so glad that wasn't a real baby that I would be responsible for the rest of my life!

My teacher asked me that morning if I was ready to have a baby in real life, and I was like, "HECK NO."

By the way I got a B+!

Links

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